South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
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your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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