There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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