i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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