Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize