You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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