i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
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Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
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I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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