Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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