i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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