I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
smell my finger.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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