If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize