Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
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I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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