Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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