I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize