i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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