I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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