Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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