Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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