Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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