And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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