I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize