lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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