so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize