Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think my moral compass just broke
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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