So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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