Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize