So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
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I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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