Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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