yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
thus making me awesome and them whores
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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