I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize