I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
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I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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