I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize