just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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