also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
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i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
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I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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