He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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