# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize