how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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