didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
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wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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