i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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