Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
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Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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