i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
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Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
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Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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