He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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