If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
