thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize