i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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