Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I could make wine with my vomit
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
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Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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