There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize