so explain again why im purple
no
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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