i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize