Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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