is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize